I once saw a similar poem that contrasted a host of noun-verb pairs that had
different stress, such as "to record" and "a record", or "the produce" and "to
produce". Has anyone seen a copy of that?
Mark
"A. Vine" wrote:
> As far as I know, the poem below is called "The Chaos" and was written by G.
> Nolst Trenite, a.k.a. Charivarius (1870-1946). See
> http://www.wordsmith.org/awad/english.html
>
> --
> Andrea Vine, avine@eng.sun.com
> Sun-Netscape Alliance i18n architect
> Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
> -- Dr. Dave Farber (father of SNOBOL and one of the creators of Token Ring)
>
> "Becker, Joseph" wrote:
> >
> > >> Sigh. Surely "cafe" must rhyme with "safe".
> > > As much as "move", "grove", and "love" rhyme.
> >
> > And more (read this aloud!):
> >
> > Dearest creature in creation,
> > Study English pronunciation.
> > I will teach you in my verse
> > Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
> > I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
> > Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
> > Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
> > So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
> >
> > Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
> > Dies and diet, lord and word,
> > Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
> > (Mind the latter, how it's written.)
> > Now I surely will not plague you
> > With such words as plaque and ague.
> > But be careful how you speak:
> > Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
> > Cloven, oven, how and low,
> > Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
> >
> > Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
> > Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
> > Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
> > Exiles, similes, and reviles;
> > Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
> > Solar, mica, war and far;
> > One, anemone, Balmoral,
> > Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
> > Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
> > Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
> >
> > Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
> > Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
> > Blood and flood are not like food,
> > Nor is mould like should and would.
> > Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
> > Toward, to forward, to reward.
> > And your pronunciation's OK
> > When you correctly say croquet,
> > Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
> > Friend and fiend, alive and live.
> >
> > Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
> > And enamour rhyme with hammer.
> > River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
> > Doll and roll and some and home.
> > Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
> > Neither does devour with clangour.
> > Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
> > Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
> > Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
> > And then singer, ginger, linger,
> > Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
> > Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
> >
> > Query does not rhyme with very,
> > Nor does fury sound like bury.
> > Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
> > Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
> > Though the differences seem little,
> > We say actual but victual.
> > Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
> > Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
> > Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
> > Dull, bull, and George ate late.
> > Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
> > Science, conscience, scientific.
> >
> > Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
> > Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
> > We say hallowed, but allowed,
> > People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
> > Mark the differences, moreover,
> > Between mover, cover, clover;
> > Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
> > Chalice, but police and lice;
> > Camel, constable, unstable,
> > Principle, disciple, label.
> >
> > Petal, panel, and canal,
> > Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
> > Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
> > Senator, spectator, mayor.
> > Tour, but our and succour, four.
> > Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
> > Sea, idea, Korea, area,
> > Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
> > Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
> > Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
> >
> > Compare alien with Italian,
> > Dandelion and battalion.
> > Sally with ally, yea, ye,
> > Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
> > Say aver, but ever, fever,
> > Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
> > Heron, granary, canary.
> > Crevice and device and aerie.
> >
> > Face, but preface, not efface.
> > Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
> > Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
> > Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
> > Ear, but earn and wear and tear
> > Do not rhyme with here but ere.
> > Seven is right, but so is even,
> > Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
> > Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
> > Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
> >
> > Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
> > Is a paling stout and spikey?
> > Won't it make you lose your wits,
> > Writing groats and saying grits?
> > It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
> > Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
> > Islington and Isle of Wight,
> > Housewife, verdict and indict.
> >
> > Finally, which rhymes with enough --
> > Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
> > Hiccough has the sound of cup.
> > My advice is to give up!!!
> >
> >
> > -- Author Unknown
> >
> > Joe
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